Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Elitism Made Easy

This entry is brought forward by Azer Leadership Unfounded.
(Adapted from an imaginative Elite)

So you want to be an elite ... Muhahahaha. Well, good for you. You see, being your average Elite, I've done my share of corruption, nepotism and cronism. I've had my share of success, and of mishaps, but I have never been prosecuted.

To err is human, correct? Well in our circle of Elitism, to err is freedom. Yes, you fools, this wonderful land of the free, where the law is blind and easily fixed, so let us go through the average step by step of Elitism.

Step 1: An Elite must have a vision. Whatever vision it is, one cannot forget to champion the poor of the majority. The trick is, the poor of the majority IS the majority :-) Summarize a vision with one compelling sentence. A compelling sentence of a vision must define the final objective and to whom a vision is address to.

An example:

"If any of the poor of the majority can sit down and have a cup of coffee in a coffee house (or coffee beans as these days), the poor of the majority will be happy".

The Don't: Don't be the champion of the Poor of the Minority. Don't be the champion of the Rich of the Minority. Don't be the champion of the Rich of the Majority.

Step 2: Join any group of the Poor of the Majority. The more the better. Speak out and sell your idea. Make sure you'll be at the middle of the circle. Make sure you stand out. Make yourself known. State your case. Layout your points. Write a book. A good book must describe the current situation of the Poor of the Majority, why the Poor of the Majority are being poor and what should be done to help the Poor of the Majority. Choose a good title for the book. The more controversial the title is, the better.

An Example:

"The Poor of the Majority Dilemma"

Extra: Try the best that you can to insult other groups especially the Rich of The Minority. It helps to gain your popularity among the Poor of the Majority.

Step 3: Build a pyramid. You see, an Elite is like a Pharaoh. However, the pyramid we are talking about is the MLM-like pyramid NOT the real one. You need to be at the top level of the pyramid. This is the best time for you to start recruiting and build up your crony. Sell the idea of leadership. Compose a compelling script for recruitment. A good script must apply the AIDA marketing concept.

An Example:

Trainee Elite: Hello Mr. Prospective Crony. I have something very interesting for you but I'm not so sure should you are qualified for it yet.
This line is to create Attention.

Trainee Elite: Well, we are a group of the Poor of the Majority looking for prospective leaders to champion our good intentions. We believe you have certain leadership qualities we are looking for. We are not sure however on your willingness to be adventurous and struggles along the way to reach our objectives. Is there a way where we can meet at your most appropriate time?
This line is to create Interest.

Trainee Elite: It is always a pleasure to meet you Mr. Prospective Crony. You see, we have a system that is guaranteed to work. So what is it for you? Well, you set your own dreams. The sky is the limit so how high is high?
This line is to create Desire.

Trainee Elite: We are 'United of the Poor of the Majority National Organization' and we will be so honored if you join us. We hope you are interested so this the the registration form.
This line is to create Action.

The Do: While recruiting, always state your vision and your mission. This is where the book can come in handy. Explain and answer questions promptly.

Step 4: Find yourself a financier. You see, an Elite is like a magician. We will make the audience watch our right hands while our left hands are doing something else. So in the eyes of the public, we will champion ourselves as the champions of the Poor of the Majority but in reality, we are the champions of the rich. This is the best time to test your negotiating skills. State your case to the prospective financier describing your group which is fast developing in numbers and supports. Learn the phrase "I'll scratch your back and you'll scratch mine".

The Don't: Never ever tell your crony who is your financier. Should anybody question the money, just shrug and say, 'It is from the grassroot".

Step 5: There is one word which is the most important word for an Elite - PROJECT. Learn to pronounce this word wrongly as Proeeek. Yes, I spell it correctly which is pronounced as Pro-ee-ek.

The Do: Practice to pronounce this word wrongly - Practice! Practice! Practice!

Step 6: Apply the system to your crony. Offer them the Proeeek to guarantee their supports. Ask them to offer smaller proeeek to their cronies and so on and so on and so on top-down like the pyramid.

The Do: Build business entities for the proeeek under proxies.

Step 7: Once in POWER, practice nepotism. Implement the Proeeek in the name of DEVELOPMENT. Get as many as possible (not so many though) of the Poor of the Majority to get involved in the Proeeek.

Reminder: It is so important not to get most of the Poor of the Majority to get involves in the Proeeek. The logic is, once the Poor of the Majority are not POOR, you are then SO IRRELEVANT!!!

Step 8: Make a good relationship with the media. Some of them will come in handy as your online-journalists (Ooppss, they do call themselves as bloggers). Make sure the media do highlight your proeeek that benefit the Poor of the Majority.

The Do: At the same time, monitor the media closely. Should your hanky-panky thing is detected, apply media censorship.

Step 9: Repeat the whole steps as frequent as possible. Once you are suspected for corruption, try with all might to be as composed as possible. Equipped with 'No Fear' slogan. An Elite will always speak in a normal manner and fear cannot get the better. It is important to remember that nothing is done wrongly and an Elite know that can be proved in court. The only way to be actually guilty of corruption or anything is if the merchandise (or whatever) is found on us. Silent is gold. We shall state our case if we are brought on trial and never ever to someone who is just trying to get something out of us.

The Do: Handle the media the Elite way. Smile the Elite smile. Wave the Elite wave. Answer the Elite answer - Answer a question with another question.

An example:

Media Question: Did you fix the judiciary?
Elite Answer: Do you think so?


Well good luck. Elitism can be a very profitable business, especially if you know what your doing.

"Love, hugs, and ISA"
Your average Elite

On YouTube

We are proud to re-post our first music video ever at YouTube with a song called Beyond Eliteland. As Azer Mantessa sings, we cannot guarantee your ears won't drop off.

Shiny Spain

Unlike the Elite who love pin-pointing other people, a scouser however has taken a different path:

"As a manager you are important sometimes and you make mistakes, but the most important people are your staff and your players. Never call me the special one!"
- Rafael Benitez.

We are proud to post this new song dedicated to the beauty of the Spanish eyes in Rafael Benitez, Fernando Torres, Pepe Reina, Xabi Alonso and Alvaro Arbeloa.

Song: Shiny Spain
Song, Music and Illustrations by Azer Mantessa