Monday, October 22, 2007

You Elite :-)

This entry is brought forward by Azer Leadership Unfounded.

Our ten(10) most valuable advices to the Elite:

1] Never admit you have no idea what you're talking about.

2] Never have a good word to say about anyone else but yourself.

3] Join every group that will let you join. After a few weeks have passed, quit and claim they aren't good enough to merit your existence and your Eliteness.

4] Always shift the blame to someone else. "It's not my fault" should become second nature to you.

5] Always have nasty things to say about your so called friends behind their backs.

6] Hate as many people as possible (or pretend to like as many people as possible).

7] Start fights as humanly possible. When you are up against intelligent people and obviously you will be losing, end the fight by saying "This is stupid and childish, even if I did start it". Never ever admit you are losing. Never!

8] When someone is smarter than you and start challenging your lack of knowledge in anything, say "I know the answer, but you're not Elite enough, so I can't tell you".

9] If anyone still dares to question you then threaten them with tough things like anything at all that are toughs. If you can't do it yourself, hire someone or hire the online journalists (Ooopppsss, they do call themselves as bloggers) to write something brilliant for your own interest or whatever else you can think of. Take this precious privilege as an Elite - Hire! Hire! Hire! Hire! Hire!

10] In time of desperation, make as big a fool of yourself like crying out loud in front of everybody. This is so okay. Remember, it takes a big man to cry but then you know damn well that it takes a bigger man to laugh at a crying big man. Display your ignorance and stupidity in a manner that will make itself noticeable to the modem community at large. When basically people are starting to accept your mistakes and ignorance, start pin-pointing someone else.

Reminder #1: When in doubt, repeat to yourself the sacred chant: "I am Elite, I can't be wrong, I am Elite, I am always right and know everything". Repeat until your confidence is restored.

Reminder #2: When someone so knowledgeable and brilliant but not yet an Elite is threatening your position, remember, you are an Elite. He cannot be right. In just a matter of time, he will be your 'Yes Man'. After all, everyone in the universe cares about the "Elite Hierarchy!". It is what makes the world go around!

Reminder #3: Always reminding people of your legacies. Always! and Always!

Reminder #4: When things might not work out, say something like 'I have worked very hard and I leave everything to GOD'. Special thanks to V.K Lingam on this one :-)

Meantime, do enjoy your Elite companion's 'Istana'.

Go go Elite! Go go Elite!

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