Tuesday, May 22, 2007

The Telemarketer

This entry is offensive so any names involved are changed.

Strange things do happen when my secretary is on leave.

Me: Hello
Gidi: Hello, this is Gidi...

Me: Is this Gidi?
Gidi: Yes, this is Gidi...

Me: This is Gidi?
Gidi: YES! This is Gidi, may I speak to Mr. Azer please?

Me: May I know who is calling please?
Gidi: This is Gidi.

Me: OK, hold on.

At this point I put the phone down for 5 minutes thinking that this person would have hung up the phone. Surprisingly, when I picked up the receiver, she was still waiting.

Me: Hello?
Gidi: Is this Mr. Azer?

Me: May I know who is calling please?
Gidi: Yes, this is Gidi...

Me: Is this Gidi?
Gidi: Yes this is Gidi...

Me: This is Gidi?
Gidi: Yes, is this Mr. Azer?

Me: The phone company?
Gidi: Yes sir.

Me: I thought you said this was Gidi.
Gidi: Yes sir, we are a phone company.

Me: Oh, I already have a phone.
Gidi: We aren't selling phones Mr. Azer.

Me: Well whatever it is, I'm really not interested but thanks for calling.

When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can express yourself any simpler than by saying "I'm really not interested", but this lady was persistent.

Gidi: Mr. Azer, we would like to offer you 10 sen a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 sen a minute but she at no time used the word rate. I then hit the calculator for some calculations.

Me: Now, that's 10 sen a minute 24 hours a day?
Gidi: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes sir that's right! 24 hours a day!

Me: 7 days a week?
Gidi: That's right.

Me: 365 days a year?
Gidi: Yes sir.

Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!
Gidi: We think so!

Me: That's quite a sum of money!
Gidi: Yes sir, it's amazing how it adds up.

Me: OK, so will you send me cheques weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full RM52,560, and if you send an annual cheque, can I get a cash advance?
Gidi: Excuse me?

Me: You know, the 10 sen a minute.
Gidi: What are you talking about?

Me: You said you'd give me 10 sen a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to RM144 per day, RM1,008 per week and RM52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.
Gidi: Oh no sir I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 sen a minute.

Me: I pay you? Didn't you say you'd give me 10 sen a minute. Are you sure this is Gidi?
Gidi: Well, yes this is Gidi sir but......

Me: But how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 sen a minute that I'll give you 10 sen a minute? Is this some kind of telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the newspapersand not to mention some blogs too.
Gidi: No sir we are offering 10 sen a minute for.....

Me: Can I speak to a supervisor please.
Gidi: Sir I don't think that is necessary.

Me: Sure! You say that now! What happens later?
Gidi: What?

Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!
Gidi: Yes, Mr. Azer. Please hold.

So now Gidi has me on hold. After a few minutes ...

Supervisor: Mr. Azer?
Me: Yes?

Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 sen a minute program.
Me: No, actually I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.

Supervisor: OK, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.
Me: Thank you.

I was on hold once again. I needed to end this conversation.

Gidi: Hello Mr. Azer, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan?
Me: You see, my colleague has resigned due to serious illness and I have to rent the apartmentdowntown. The problem is, my kids and my wife are not with me as they hate transferring schools. Now that my weeknights are getting lonely, is there any probability that you would drop by and keep me warm sometimes?

Gidi: *click* tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuttttttttttt

Pesanan Dari Ajami:

Tayangan Unggul Sdn. Bhd. sedang menganjurkan pertandingan mereka-cipta poster filem Anak Halal arahan Osman Ali. Sila klik link berikut utk keterangan:


Sila sebarkan maklumat ini! TQ :-)

New song posted: Krystyna.